We’ve all got the perfect and ideal pub in mind, even if we’ve not managed to find it. George Orwell himself wrote a piece describing his perfect establishment – The Moon Under Water – ending with the reveal it doesn’t exist and, if someone knew of a place like it, to let him know.
With all that in mind, we decided to make a list of our own fictional pubs we’d love to have an online game of poker in.
Don’t agree? Get in touch on Twitter or Facebook and share your thoughts on what pub you’d be getting the cards out at.
Paddy’s Pub (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
This supposedly Irish-style pub is more like a straightforward American dive bar. Dark, dirty, and full of unsavoury characters. As first it doesn’t seem like a great place to play a game. ‘The Gang’, as the owners are called in the TV show, are more likely to bring you harm than actually serve you a drink!
But, here’s the beauty of the place. The owners are terrible, terrible owners. They spend way too much time out and about without actually locking up, meaning you could play poker 24/7 without being interrupted for thing like last orders!
Another plus is that the bar is pretty unpopular, which means you could often have the place to yourself. No queues for drinks, endless bar snacks, and you have full control of the jukebox. Can’t beat that. Although it’s worth having an escape plan for when Charlie, Dee, Mac, and Dennis actually turn up.
The Green Dragon Inn (The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings)
It’s pretty rare these days for a pub to have its own song known word for word by every patron. There’s something special about this that goes way beyond the whole Cheers ‘everyone knows your name’ thing.
The Green Dragon Inn is a welcoming place, particularly if you’re a Hobbit (for the sake of this list you are). Local ale and food, friendly staff, and interesting fellow drinkers – sitting down here at a big wooden table for a game of poker sounds perfect.
You’ll know you’ll be left alone if you’re just after a quiet drink, while there’s always the choice to join the festivities when you’ve taken all of your mate’s money. The only criticism here is that you won’t get a bigger beer than a half pint. You’ll need to head to Bree for that.
The Nag’s Head (Only Fools and Horses)
This list would not be complete without Del Boy and Rodney’s local. The Nag’s Head is a classic Peckham boozer of old, something it’s a struggle to find now the area has gone a bit more upmarket.
That’s reason enough to spend a few evenings there, but you’d also get to have a natter with the likes of Del Boy and his mates. If you were so inclined you might even join them for a few business deals, especially if you can get one over on Boycie.
One word of warning, we wouldn’t suggest taking on Del Boy in a game though. Not only has he got a great poker face, but he’d probably be cheating anyway. Always worth keeping an eye on him if he’s leaning on the bar though.
Mos Eisley Cantina (Star Wars: A New Hope)
Okay, we’ll open with a big caveat: you might get your hand chopped off or attacked by an alien. But, if that doesn’t happen, the Mos Eisley Cantina would be a great place to sit in a corner playing some cards.
The music is obviously a big plus, but imagine the weird array of new drinks to try while the incredible stories of the bar’s patrons would be endlessly entertaining. Bit of a change up from the Rose and Crown down the road.
All you need to do is avoid annoying the Hutts or teaming up with a smuggler for a dangerous mission and you’ll be fine. Might be worth making friends with some of the bigger regulars just in case though.
The Winchester (Shaun of the Dead)
There’s something about a person describing a pub as the perfect place to hole up during a zombie apocalypse that makes it seem pretty cosy. The regulars are weird but interesting, there’s a good choice of snacks and aside from the zombies, it doesn’t get too busy.
This is a perfect spot for a weekday evening game. You’ll be sure to get yourself a decent sized table and there will be few distractions. Also, Shaun, Ed, Liz, and Dianne seem like a pretty good bunch to play poker with – as long as they don’t bring David.
Rick’s Café Américain (Casablanca)
One of the coolest films, one of the coolest lead roles and one of the coolest bars. Casablanca is a given classic to many and its one perfect for poker. Rick Blaine’s nightclub somehow combines the best of both seedy and classy casinos: white tuxes and dirty scoundrels.
It’d be a tough place to play with wily refugees on the run and Nazi officials sitting around tables – not to mention a dangerous one. Hardly for the faint-hearted, but perfect for the strong-willed poker players looking for a challenge.
And just imagine the chance of coming up against Rick Blaine himself as he drinks, mopes, cracks wise, and looks wistfully into the distance to some tragic piano music. Not an opportunity to miss.
Eddie’s Bar (Hustle)
Simple, great clientele and a barman you could easily nab some free drinks off with a few bar tricks. Eddie’s Bar is probably the least known on this list, but by no means the worst. Eddie might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’s a great a host.
The place is comfortable and quiet too, somewhere perfect for a game with some added class and decorum. Just avoid going up against any of the actual hustlers. While they’d never fleece you, we think it’s a safe bet they’re pretty good at poker – particularly Albert.
Instead, buy them a drink, have a chat, and pick up some tips about poker and life in general. You’ll be better off for it.
We’re big fans of the number 7 – it’s the number of minutes that it takes on average to play our Sit and Go Hero game. Have you played yet? Play today!