I had packed the bike and was ready to leave Cannes today when Elky called to say he wanted me in his European Team for Wednesday’s Caesar’s Cup tussle with America.

I couldn’t say no, it is an honour – I really cannot wait. It is true that I am the captain but on this occasion Elky is as well.

Why me when there is so much talent out there to choose from? Isn’t it obvious? I am in France which is famous feasting ground for me and I am going to tilt the hell out of America’s captain Phil Hellmuth – he’ll want to avoid me like the plague. He simply wont be able to handle it – we have won the psychological war already.

If the Poker Brat saves himself for last so he can be seen to bring home the glory I will be there stalking him – whatever tactic he chooses for Team America we will strategically match it and I will man to man mark him. Whether it is a singles or a four ball I will be invading his greens.

American Team better lock up their wives

James Bord has said that the European players kick the ass out of the Americans and this Caesar’s Cup will be a supreme lesson for the so called land of the free. Who is in it for Europe?

General Grospellier will be a beacon of light with his white hot yellow flamed hair, Jake Cody is the grim reaper and will take the ancient American relics to their grave. Gus Hansen is back, I have Zasko, he is the Great Dane – the American Team better lock up their wives. Then there is Max Lykov (he is no Russian) maximum points on the board for Europe!

The Americans are drawing their pensions, half of their first choices couldn’t even leave their retirement homes to travel. Jason Mercier? Heard he is lucky, I prefer Isabelle Mercier? Daniel Negreanu – nippy chihuahua , he’ll whine more about being homesick when I have finished with him.

Johnny Chan, I prefer Jackie Chan – rush hour – time to get on your bike Johnny. Ben Lamb…to the slaughter! They are all lambs and Ben will be silenced. Phil, if anyone pulls out bring Andrew Robl in – bring in the most shameful example of a modern internet player. YOU HAVE TO HE DOES YOUR COUNTRY PROUD!

I want to call a private jet to bring in Zasko. Ty Stewart – can you help? Can I have my faithful friend in the casino? He doesn’t bite Americans (except for those in Team America)?

I bet $20,000 at 5/1 that I will make the money

First of all, however, I am going to win the WSOPE Main Event. First ten minutes, STRAIGHT FLUSH – then massive double up. I am on a roll. I even bet $20,000 at 5/1 that I will make the money in the Main Event – 55th place guarantees me $100k.

Bring on the Americans, reignite the cold war, run over the green at Brookline. A Eurozone crisis? NOT FOR US. The Caesar’s Cup remains in Europe. Et tu brute!


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