“Raise,” says the 18-year old Swede confidently from the depths of his oversized hood before moving chips worth 2,500 into the middle of the felt.

“Raise,” says the man mountain sporting the mirrored aviator sunglasses who is seated on the button. With a giant, hairy knuckled hand he grabs 6,700 worth of chips and confidently puts them into the pot.

The action folds around to the young Swede — who looks a lot like a Degen version of Kenny from South Park by the way– “I’m all-in!”

“Call!” is the immediate response of the three-bettor, who stands up and proudly shows the world his pair of red kings. But the hood has him beat. The hood has a pair of red aces and has our muscle-bound friend crushed.

“So sick!” exclaims the man with the pocket kings in front of him, the man who is now sans-sunglasses, before adding, “one-time!”

The dealer burns a card and fans out the 3s-6c-Kc flop, catapulting the giant man into the lead with a set of cowboys. The turn and river are both bricks and the aces get cracked by pocket kings.

“No. That was sick,” states the Swedish youngster as he gathers his belongings and heads to the rail with his tail between his legs like a donkey, ready to tell his bad beat story to anyone and everyone he meets. In the hope of hearing “That’s so bad”

FML?

But it wasn’t was it? It wasn’t sick. Not really. Not when you think about it. For those of you not “in the know,” sick doesn’t just mean something is ill, sick to the poker community is like the cool of yesteryear and is sometimes used to describe something that they think is plain wrong. But pocket kings cracking aces isn’t sick. It just isn’t. This on the other hand is sick…

Nice Hand

Pocket aces will lose to pocket kings around 20% of the time, or one-in-five confrontations. I know there are people reading this article who have bet on horses, football matches and even the outcome of Big Brother that have taken longer odds. Yes, you will only run kings into aces at a full table around 4.5% of the time, which is pretty rare, but losing an AA vs KK confrontation is hardly sick.

Maybe if you lost such a hand whilst heads-up in the World Series of Poker Main Event would be sick, or on the bubble of the World Poker Tour World Championship would be slightly ill, but for the most part aces losing to kings is not sick at all. Please save the sickness for true sick hands as shown above in and situations, such as quads losing to a runner-runner Royal Flush, or other super rare scenarios. What you think is sick, be it a hand / fold / situation / girlfriend / dog is actually almost certainly pretty standard in all honesty, sorry for raining on your parade.

Chip and a Chair

Also, what was with the guy with pocket kings using his “one time?” Now that he is out of earshot we can give him some grief. It’s not your one-time is it? Let’s be honest now, it’s probably your 863rd time. Stop requesting your one-time because you have already used it. Just like these fellows:

You see the clue is in the words themselves. One. Time. It means you can use it once. Just because you are the size of a house does not mean you can have more one-times than anyone else. Oh no. Why are you looking at me like that? Why has a shadow just cast over me? He’s behind me isn’t he? So sick.

Did you spot them all? And did we miss something? Well didn’t we just run bad on that one huh? Go give us what for in the comments below and remember follow us on Twitter for more great one timers. ONE TIME!

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