I have been inundated with messages this week asking me for my reaction to Phil Hellmuth winning his 13th WSOP bracelet. I have to admit it has taken me time to collect my thoughts but I thought I would share with you the note I wrote to the Poker Brat.

Dear Phil,

I am writing to you to congratulate you on winning your 13th WSOP bracelet in Cannes. You are a living legend for the game as well as a legend in your own mind.

I caught some of the hands at the final table and have to say you played in a similar fashion to those northern european ‘idiots’ you say you love so much (you even wore the permanent headphones – are you from Stockholm? Phil Roblsson?). You were class mate and poker is much better having someone like you around to bring the game to the masses. You knew I was supporting Sergii Baranov when it went heads-up but he wasn’t entirely qualified to be the right Sir G. Do Ukrainian players have too much in common with the Russians?

I saw you laid on the floor during the final table like you famously did at WPT Bay 101 that time. Again, I questioned your mental health but I presumed this was some sort of yoga technique of bringing on the white magic and it turned out very successful?

I have done in the interviews in the past where I said you were a dog. I was wrong, you are a goat and in that I mean a G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time). Don’t let this get to your head though – you are the greatest of all time in WSOP no limit hold’em tournaments (regular buy-in).

Why don’t you now attempt to transfer these skills into cash games or high roller events. I will play you for everything you have! I have WPT Copenhagen and WPT Montreal penciled in the diary so why don’t we do it then?

Lots of love

Tony x

PS. I am happy if you take my personal assistant away from me permanently – all he is good for is calling room service and most of the time he gets that wrong!

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