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You will know that I am a big fan of giving people a warm welcome to the game – take Phil Curtis in the first Poker Den 24 hour cash game and the greetings showered on Andrew ‘good2cuqualified’ Robl by Daniel Negreanu and I at the more recent Big Game in Vegas. I always want to know that someone is strong enough to take their seat at the table.

That’s why I am so looking forward to going to WPT Malta on Monday – not only is it a Matt Savage re-entry tournament, I will also be reacquainting myself with his holiness Phil Hellmuth for the very first time since the Big Game.

I know he is over the trauma and back on suitable form – talking about his money management when he is winning, insisting he is trying to play tight and going on about metal band Anthrax (when is he going to get it?). My god is he going to get it, as are all those French fishies I hope make the trip from Cannes. I am rubbing my hands together, I am going to take everything they have!

The island of Malta is historically a key territory in the quest for world domination and I am already a little on the back foot as I hear a rumour on the grapevine that the local mayor is planning to bestow a Maltese Cross on the Poker Brat and give him freedom of the island – I cannot think of anyone who will take such an honour with such humility. Phil will just humbly accept this I am sure and let all the pomp and ceremony pass him by.

Earlier this week I asked for suggestions on how I could give Hellmuth a big welcome to the game in Malta and you’ve inspired me. I have been doing a bit of shopping.

My terrapoker army have thrown down their arms but I do have two adult baby jumper suits, a stuffed talking parrot that repeats what you say, a Maltese Falcon and a Dick Turpin highwayman outfit. I am like a bird of prey exploiting weak nits so why can’t I bring a majestic creature with me?

My massive wing spanned and clawed friend has been trained to spot potential enemies from a distance and I have been training my guiding hand to be a top class wild bird handler (learn from the master Gus Hansen!). The Maltese Falcon is my choice though I could easily have an Osprey for all the seafood available to hunt and conquer.

Some of you will know that the Maltese Falcon is a superyacht but it doesn’t look like I am going to be able to get to Malta in such style. Don’t get me wrong, I am still the Captain!

It is still not too late to join the Phil Hellmuth Appreciation Society annual meeting at the WPT Malta – with it being a re-entry we can have a pop at him twice. For those who want to organise travel to Malta from Nice or elsewhere contact mobile: +393477837944, tel:+390917486323.


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