Licking my wounds

The whole poker world has gone eBay mad. What’s my solution? Let’s place a bid on eBay for eBay. I typed in eBay in the search box of eBay.co.uk and what did I find? No joke!

I have spent some time licking my wounds in recent days – and no it is not because Zasko and I have been involved in some hardcore Steven Seagal ‘Lawman’ German Shepherd training and he’s been taking it out on my arms – it’s also not because my faithful sponsors PartyPoker.com have said no to a personal concierge for the Aussie Millions.

In short, man’s best friend is disappointed, I didn’t win the auction for Peter Eastgate’s WSOP Main Event bracelet on eBay. We have talked our problems through – he knows I have my limits, I bid well into six figures and he made a massive amount for charity. There were anti doggie bling dark forces out there.

Who has got it? I honestly don’t know. Perhaps it will appear on Wikileaks. I know Alex Dreyfus of Chilipoker and sponsor of the recent World Poker Tour Marrakech (wish I had gone, heard the apple shisha was good) was bidding but he pulled out when I threatened to set a pack of my faithful guards on him. I also heard rumours that poker sites were bidding to put it up as a prize for an online tournament. This isn’t right, I wanted to buy it for a loved one.

Vanessa Rousso’s Lamborghini up for auction

I have since seen that Vanessa Rousso has put her Lamborghini Gallardo up for auction on eBay. If she could offer a package where she comes with the car I would buy it for Zasko. She could then manage him and drive him around in a car he deserves to drive.

The only thing – my dog will not ride in any sports car that is pink… or bright yellow. That said, is a Lamborghini a dog groomer or even a dog manager’s car? Go Daddy? Tony G is the daddy!

I got an email from Germany’s Thomas ‘Buzzer’ Bihl who offered to sell his bracelet – the very first WSOPE one ever won. I thought his could be an even better solution for me as Zasko is a German Euro dog, it may suit him better.

Bihl wants $50k for it though so I told him to stick it on eBay. I now urge everyone in the world to stick their bracelets on eBay. I am out there and Zasko is waiting. I am a buyer and in the market.

I have permission to bring my furry friend on the set at the Aussie Millions – all he needs is something to wear, the training is nearly there.

I am sat here in front of the tv. No way! Guess who I didn’t bet with PartyBets.com to win the 2018 FIFA World Cup? All the fish are sold.

Get Out Russians, get out – send you back to Russia. Watch out for the parasailing donkeys!

Look what happened to the chances of Belgium and The Netherlands…