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Warning! Bring In The Robots As These High Stakes Prop Bets Are Making Me Fall Asleep!

Posted by Lee Davy & filed under The Rail, Timeless.

Lee Davy believes the High Stakes Prop bets of recent times have nosedived in terms of hilarity and complexity, and is reaching out to the general public to create a few new ideas.

When Bill Perkins allegedly paid Jeff Gross $550,000 for getting a gay tattoo engraved into the top of his back, I knew it was time to get some new friends.

Amongst my friends I am pretty sure for $550,000 I would have to eat my own feces for a year, have my genitals removed or constantly go to the toilet in a man size nappy for a year.

But no!!!!!!!!

In the world of the High Stakes poker players all you have to do for $550,000 is get a small rainbow sized tattoo placed on an area of your back, that will never be seen by the public if he continues to wear a t-shirt.

Exhibit A: Really A Rainbow Tattoo For 550k?

 

You’re Not Even F**cking Trying!

It’s the classic case of having too much money, and not enough creativity. It’s lazy, but most of all it’s pretty boring. I mean what is the worse that can happen now that Gross has his tattoo?

Even if it drew the attention of a few male admirers couldn’t he just tell them he was straight? I mean it’s just a rainbow. Perhaps, he is a fan of the UK Children’s show from the 1970s and 80s featuring George, Zippy and Bungle?

rainbow_montage

Exhibit B: George, Zippy and Bungle – Literally The Stuff Of Nightmares

 

So What Else? Really…

What else do the High Stakes poker players get up to when it comes to prop bets?

They make bets that they can lose weight?

Not exactly riveting is it?

I mean what’s the outcome here? They lose a ton of weight, look a lot better, pick up a lot of healthy habits along the way, and win a ton of money.

Why not have a prop bet where they have to put on weight. A lot of it. Let’s turn a fit and healthy poker player into a tub of lard. Now that’s much more interesting if you ask me.

One Millllllliiooooonnnn Dollllllarrrrsss….!

Phil Ivey once bought out of a million dollar bet that he couldn’t go vegetarian for a year. He lasted 20-days before he paid Tom Dwan $150,000 to buy out of the bet.

Mmmm pleased to mmmmmeat you….

And as For You Antonio Esfandiari Really? 

antonio-esfandiari-poker-card-protector-review

That’s A Tasty Looking Card Protector!

I mean, come on, he’s not even trying, which also makes prop bets between the rich and famous a little bit silly. I am not even going to talk about the prop bet where Antonio Esfandiari reneged on his bet to go a whole year without bread, by buying out for $5,000 after just five minutes, because it makes me want to put my hand in my blender and make a smoothie out of it.

Really Don’t Even Tempt Me!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRINGGGGGGGGGGG!

Golf bets, basketball bets, running bets, weight loss bets, non-drinking bets, no sex bets – they all have one thing in common. They are boring. Nobody cares about them, because they aren’t related to humor. For a prop bet to truly work it needs to make you piss your pants with laughter.

Phil Hellmuth Could Truly Be More Than Meets The Eye…

The recent Transformers movie has got me thinking.

Almost daily I keep randomly saying the line, ‘Transformers: robots in disguise,’ but I say it sounding like a robot. Why not make a prop bet that a poker player has to talk like a robot for a prolonged period of time?

It doesn’t matter where this player is; he or she has to talk like a robot at all times. Honesty is a must here because you are not in their presence all of the time, but it would be hilarious to see a poker player having to talk like a robot at the table, or being interviewed by the press.

Now This Is How Phil Hellmuth Should Make An Entrance!

 

So C’Mon And Sing A Long With Meeeeeeeeeeeeee……….

Another one I like is a singing bet.

Instead of talking you have to sing each word that comes out of your mouth. Once again, just like the robot bet, I think it would be hilarious and well worth the punt to see a player having to order a Starbucks whilst singing.

Mum mum mum mah, Mum mum mum mah, Mum mum mum mah, Mum mum mum mah

It’s about the hilarity of the bet, not the challenge of it.

One of the more interesting prop bets that has ever been made was the one where Jay Kwik had to live in the bathroom of the Bellagio for 30-days. Andrew Robl made the bet and duly paid up after Kwik installed a television, bed, his own art, a ton of DVD’s and lived off room service for a month in order to become victorious.

So The Challenge Has Been Set.

The modern day prop bet has become a tedium and it’s high time someone livened it up a little and gave us something to giggle about.

Now over to you.

Hey Ladies…

What insane prop bets do you think the High Stakes poker players should take on that will have us in fits of laughter?

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